Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Not Giving Up Yet! OR A Lull in My Motivation

Again, I somehow slipped and it's been two weeks since I last wrote. And shit, these last two weeks have been something along the lines of hell. Being sick, juggling the work schedule, catching up and staying ahead in class. The time-suck of each of these is ridiculous. Looking back, I wonder how the hell I managed to not slippery-slope down the mountainside of all the work I'm occupied with. Somehow, I made it happen. 

Sick. Dear G-d, I was sick beyond anything I can remember in recent memory. It all hit after a week of high stress, late nights, early mornings, and poor eating habits. My focus for the week was largely commanded by a group research project and presentation for Core I. We'd spent the better part of the last three weeks dissecting and disentangling a "problem" for the city of Berkeley that, given our research, doesn't really exist. The amount of work and the late nights created a toxic combination that I eventually succumbed to and spent the weekend and half of the following week in bed, not doing a damn thing. Whoever said "Being home sick is a great opportunity to get work done" was never truly sick to begin with.

I suppose I bounced back fairly quickly, largely due to Stephen's help and care. I didn't fall behind as much as I thought, but I'm still playing catch-up. There are still cases to read, brainstorming to do, memos to write, resumes to revise, jobs to apply for. It's a never-ending list that sometimes has me wondering how I haven't thrown in the towel yet.

Believe me, I've wanted to, especially in the last week. I'm finally learning that amidst all the hustle and bustle of the never-ending list of obligations, I HAVE to take time for myself. I finally did that this past Saturday. I got the day off, I rode to Marin from the Ferry Building with some of my closest friends. We drank delicious microbrews all afternoon, before riding to Larkspur to catch the ferry back to SF. Some of us went to a barbecue on Treasure Island afterwards (in which we each scored some sweet bike stuff FOR FREE). It was easily one of the best days of my life and I realized that I need to stop for a hot second and do something for myself. I can't just plow on through the list without a break. If I did, I'd never get out alive.

That's the short of the long of it. I'll do my best to update again soon, amid lists and papers and everything else that has my arms tied behind my back.

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