Today ended up being an overall success, but it didn't look that way initially.
Last night was great! Movie was funny, adventurous, and it was wonderful being with my crew and providing important bike-related commentary throughout the movie. Not sure how much the rest of the theatre appreciated it, but it was a riot all the same.
Sadly, things started slipping south after we left the theatre. We gathered outside for our usual group photo, when my friend jumped into my arms. My phone flew out of my hands and hit the ground, breaking into its three usual pieces (phone, battery, and back cover). Considering I drop my phone all the time (and have YET to put a protective covering on it), I wasn't too worried. But of course, the one time a friend would be the cause of the phone explosion, it would be the time that my screen shatters. Phone is still functioning now, but it was fairly blitzy immediately after the crash. I had a hard time getting ahold of necessary people and that's when all the cursing and muttering under my breath began.
I had arranged to meet up with my friend Rob to give him his boom box yet. When I got to his place, he could tell I wasn't too happy and he gave me his usual enveloping hug. I collapsed on his couch and as soon as his cat jumped into my lap, I just started bawling. "What am I doing? Is this even right for me? How am I going to manage all of this? I'm broke as shit." So many questions flowing, just as fast and numerous as the tears.
Rob held me and explained that grad school is going to be like this. That it's the toughest two years of school, but there's a little bit more slack given than undergrad. With undergrad, he told me, they weed out who is lazy and who is willing and wants to go the distance. He said that professors are more forgiving than during undergrad. The best thing he told me is that professors, even if we fall on our faces the first time around, are there to help us and train us, that we are the cream of the crop and the prodigies of their field and without us as students, they wouldn't have anything to do. We are no longer subservient in the academia hierarchy, but we are peers, intellectual equals that will carry on the knowledge.
I went back home, still worried about my first day of Mills classes, but knowing that no matter what happens, I have this great support system. I'm also reminded that "Hey, you may be 23. But it's okay to cry sometimes!"